Louder than words

I’ve been sober for almost 12 years. Sobriety is a blessing I am thankful for everyday. Before getting sober I was addicted to cocaine and methamphetamine. I was severely addicted for years and spent many thousands of dollars on my addiction. My addiction to illegal drugs reduced my health significantly. I made bad decisions over and over again. I put myself in danger every time I met a drug dealer and I put my loved ones at risk because of the bad decisions I was making. One of the bad decisions I made during that time was to stop taking my medication for my mental health. My mental health spiraled out of control. I closed my business and with no income my savings were soon gone. I could not afford to renew my lease on my home and was soon homeless.

That was 10 years ago. While I was homeless for six years I rarely had money and when I did have money it was usually no more than $20. I stayed sober while I was homeless which helped me survive. Still I was not taking medication for my mental health and stubbornly apposed taking medication despite my parents and sisters urging me to take medication. I got back into housing 4.5 years ago because the police intervened. I was placed in a psychiatric hospital where I began my recovery. I’ve been taking my medication every day since the intervention when I started to recover.

These days I lease an apartment. I went back to work part time. I have a pet dog. I have a car. I am disabled and can work part time and keep SSDI. I hope to go back to work full time and get off SSDI. My mental health condition is considered a life long condition that is expected to deteriorate over time. I’ll need to take higher doses of my medication to manage myself at some point. Taking a higher dose of medication is well worth living independently.

Cocaine and Methamphetamine are dangerous drugs, highly addictive, illegal and are responsible for many deaths every year. People lose their lives when they are addicted to drugs. People become incarcerated when they are using drugs. People are exposed to violence and gangs and cartels and low lives who are a danger to themselves and others when they do drugs.

I’m inspired to write about my struggles using illegal drugs after watching a news report on television about the capture of Nicolas Maduro. There will always be people who say that he is a good man and there will always be people who say that he was the leader of not only Venezuela but also a cartel responsible for many violent deaths and the trafficking and distribution of cocaine.

Cocaine comes from Peru and Columbia. Venezuela is in route between those countries and USA. Venezuela is also a very large source of oil. Weather the capture of Nicolas Madura and inevitable regime change in Venezuela is about stopping cocaine from getting to USA or improving business conditions for oil to be shipped to USA or both I’m not going to argue about any of those.

I hope the regime change in Venezuela brings peace and stability to the Venezuelan people and that a democratically elected leader comes into power in the foreign country. I hope no one loses their life in the regime change and US Military are not brought in further to run Venezuela.

People use cocaine and it’s bad news. People will continue to use cocaine and their demand for the supply of cocaine from Peru and Columbia will continue to spread bad news and bad outcomes for everyone involved. The problem starts in Peru and Columbia where the plant grows and is processed all the way in the trafficking of it to the person whether they are using it for the first time or are addicted to the drug.

People joke about illegal drugs, wishing that they were legal. When I was using illegal drugs I joked about the topic of legalizing illegal drugs. It’s not funny. Cocaine and  Methamphetamine are deadly and cause chaos in every corner and every turn.

I can’t go back in time and turn down illegal drugs. It’s a part of my past and the past doesn’t change. I survived. I quit using illegal drugs. I let go of everyone I knew who used and sold illegal drugs. I moved half way across USA to a community new to me where I know none of those bad influences. They exist. I see people in public struggling with addiction. I see people lying on the ground in public overdosed on fentanyl. The problem remains and I keep a safe distance from it.

Using illegal drugs is selfish. It’s a selfish act. It puts the user in danger and the act of buying illegal drugs encourages the whole supply chain that is fraught with deception and hiding from the law and hidden agendas.

The problems surrounding cocaine effect people of all ages and all races and all levels of economic prosperity and economic hardship. If you are struggling with addiction to illegal drugs there is help. People want to help you. Safe people in safe neighborhoods want to help you. People living law abiding lives want to help you. People want to see you overcome your addiction and leave it in the past. People want to see you healthy and happy. People want to see you in control of your life. People want to see you succeed. People want to see you safe and secure and healthy. Quitting illegal drugs is an action. It’s louder than words.